Watch Your Exclamation Marks

Punctuation can help to create rapport.

Using punctuation in the wrong way – in the wrong context – can break it.

Take an exclamation mark for example.

Writing online is changing our use of the exclamation mark.  If you spend any time on Twitter you’re likely to use it as a short hand way (one character, and you’ve only got 140) to signal:

• That something’s really interesting or unusual

• That you’re really pleased to see someone

• That you’ve taken notice of what someone’s said

Other users will understand.  They’ll smile and use exclamations back.

The grammar rules around exclamation marks haven’t changed: it’s just that the custom and practice, the culture that you’re writing in makes it acceptable to use them.

Things change when you shift back to a different, more traditional medium though.

You need to be careful with exclamation marks when you’re writing for print.  They come over as much more exaggerated than they do online.  They draw undue attention to what you’re saying, and exaggerate it for effect.

This can also mean you create the opposite effect to the one you intended.

Take for example a bit of encouragement you want to offer someone in a teaching or coaching context, translated into the written word.

You’ve just asked someone to answer some questions or do an exercise.  You need to find some way to acknowledge their effort and encourage them to keep going.

Well done!

You  might want to say.

Except well done! runs the risk of sounding a little phoney, a little patronising, a little over keen. (Can you hear the difference between that and a simple: well done.)

To some people it might sound sarcastic, and that you don’t really mean it.

Create any of those effects and you’ve broken rapport.

Keep it simple.  Keep the tone quiet and plain.

Sotto voce.

Well done.

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